To forgive and accept forgiveness.

Forgiveness. One word – and what it can evoke in the heart of each of us. Is there anyone who does not need forgiveness? A man of years says to his wife, who reminds him of his confession, “I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t steal anything from anyone, I’m faithful to you.” We quickly forget. We remember only what we want, what suits us, and we notice the worse in others rather than, the better.

The doctor discovers that the boy suffers from a strange disease: he is afraid of his father. The boy has everything, more than his friends, but the father punishes him for everything and at once. He has not yet heard, has not yet experienced forgiveness. For years, the wife has been throwing it in her husband’s face that his parents have not given him everything they promised. The neighbor has been pleading with the neighbor for years, even though he is older, to forgive their family for being willing to make things right. The unwillingness to forgive others for what they have done to us in reality, or only in our imaginations, acts as a poison that destroys physical and spiritual health, sometimes to incredible depths.

Why do we say: “I forgive, but I cannot forget?” Even at Mass, we will say to God and our neighbors, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive our trespasses.” Why is it difficult to say: forgive, forgive, forget, and in the same way: I forgive, I don’t think about it anymore, I have forgotten, it is all right now, let us love each other, after all, we are believers, we are siblings, friends, neighbors. Forgiveness. Is it still actual to be able to forgive and accept forgiveness?

Let us ask Jesus, together with the Apostle Peter, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Perhaps seven times?” (Mt. 18:21). Every person must pass the test of love, not only towards God but also towards his neighbor and himself. We do not deserve eternal life’s reward if we love only God and fail to forgive our neighbor and even ourselves. This is not the apostle Peter’s problem. He knows that he is to forgive his brother often. The number `seven times` is a number representing many. Jesus rejects this apparent good-heartedness. Jesus does not narrow or limit the obligation to forgive. Jesus’ answer is clear: “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Mt. 18:22). Jesus does not condition forgiveness on the number of the brother’s offenses. The numeral “77” means `constantly.` With the story of the two debtors, Jesus wants to show not only the method and principles of forgiveness but also that forgiveness must be done quickly. In the behavior of the servant and the fellow servant, Jesus wants to point out the love of God for people, how merciful God is to us, always willing to forgive our sins when we ask him for mercy. ***** also wants to point out that we should forgive one another. Jesus presents himself in the story as `the pure king’ and then as `the Lord’. “A `servant’ is each of us in relationship to God. “A `fellow servant’ is every brother and sister to us. What things we have already borrowed from God! Or do we have life, health, talents, gifts of our own? No! What are the numbers already, and how do we treat the borrowed? The servant in the gospel was indebted with ten thousand talents, which is about 360 thousand kilograms of silver. Who will say that this is not enough?

Jesus wants to remind us by this that we are obligated to have a relationship of reverence, gratitude, and love towards God. The servant realizes this when he falls on his knees and asks for time to pay the debt. We, too, must behave responsibly toward God. Do any of us know when we will die? Is everything all right in our lives? We get warnings from God: accident, illness, failure… and then we know how to ask God, we promise to improve things. When we are serious about returning to God, we often experience God’s love God’s forgiveness. How quickly, however, we often forget what we have promised God. For example, after healing, success, and the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And how do we treat a fellow servant – a brother or sister? Do we appeal to truth or justice? We cannot forgive, we cannot forget, we want to avoid ignoring. We judge and condemn. When Jesus contrasts the ten thousand talents of the servant and the one talent of the fellow servant, he would like to point to God’s forgiveness and the obligation to be able to forgive. We want to make ourselves righteous, and we don’t know how to forgive. God not only wants us to have a heart for Him but also our neighbors. Our relationship of love for our neighbors is the most beautiful response to God’s love for us.

At the end of the parable, Jesus presents what we will not miss: the just punishment if we ask God for mercy, for forgiveness, and would not be merciful and forgive one another. Wasted grace provokes judgment. God’s grace turns into God’s wrath. How profound are Jesus’ words about forgiving one another! The petition’s reversal from the `Repentance’ prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive our trespasses.” You, Lord, have forgiven us our trespasses. Therefore, we also forgive those who have become our debtors.

We often wish each other happiness and peace when we meet. It is natural because only in an atmosphere of peace and happiness can a person live an extraordinary life. However, we can take this idea even further. We know that peace, happiness, love are God’s attributes. Where we find perfect peace, happiness, love, we see God. Then, too, the removal of all that does not allow these qualities to enter into life is a journey towards God. The parable of the unmerciful servant touches on one of those obstacles that we can overcome by learning to forgive generously.
Forgiveness is not easy. People usually regard forgiving and forgetting an offense as something unnatural, something that dulls their dignity and honor. It is not easy for us Christians, either. We usually silence remorse in this way: “I have forgiven…but not forgotten!” But that is not the forgiveness God expects of us. We know this ourselves, for such forgiveness does not drive out anger and the desire for revenge from the heart. Generous forgiveness that forgets offenses is a sign of an excellent spirit. It is a sign of the Spirit of Jesus.

When Pope John Paul II was assassinated and lay in hospital with a severe wound, the first words he said were, “I forgive the one who shot at me.” When he recovered, he visited the assassin in prison. The great leader of the Indian people’s struggle for liberation, Gandhi, was shot by a Hindu fanatic. He was dying but still wanted to see his killer forgive him. As bystanders blocked his view, he touched his chest and forehead as a sign of forgiveness. In Bremen, a 65-year-old man visited the prisoner, the murderer of his wife, children, parents, and in-laws, to offer his hand in forgiveness. In Switzerland, a lady offered help to a woman whose husband had killed her husband. Because the family had lost its breadwinner by the imprisonment of the murderer, this lady generously took care of his family. The daughter, who had forgiven her father, with whom she had not communicated for eight years, said: “The moment I forgave my father and started talking to him, I felt a peace in my heart, a joy, a sense of release, a sense of well-being that I had not known for eight years.

To forgive in a similarly generous way, we need to remember two basic facts that emerge from today’s Gospel. There is a relationship between God and man. Indeed, God always acts correctly and lovingly in this relationship. However, man innumerably distorts this relationship by various sins that seriously offend God. Such a relationship would not have a long life among men. God continually forgives us all, provided we also forgive those who trespassed against us. We are to forgive completely, generously. Can our offended dignity and honor be an obstacle to obtaining God’s forgiveness? To forgive generously is a mark of the Spirit of Jesus. It is certainly not easy, but we can learn to do it. And we can begin right this minute. Let’s try to imagine the face of the person who has wronged us and forgive him generously right now! Let’s give him a new chance. Let us not heed the protests of our offended pride. For to forgive means: to have hope of forgiveness. We learn this from Christ on the cross. We want to follow him not only in his words but also in our actions. We want to follow his words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34).

This was understood by the mother of the son, who committed an act to which the father reacted by not only throwing the son out of the house, disinheriting him but not wanting to see him again in his life: “You must never cross the threshold of my house!” The son proudly responded: “I’ll never ask you to!” The mother fell ill. A family friend, a doctor, told the man: “Your wife will die if your son doesn’t come back.” The man remained a rock. The doctor himself sent a telegram, “Come at once; your mother is dying!” The son’s face paled on reading the telegram. Everything flashed vividly before his eyes as he stood at the house door. He overcame himself and entered the room where his mother lay. The latter, with an effort, seized her son’s hand on one side and her father’s on the other and joined them over her bed. The two men’s palms joined, and the mother’s hand fell beneath them. She finished reconciling father and son. They forgave each other.

The saying goes that forgiveness is the best revenge. Parents forgive their children for the worst mistakes instilled in them by their upbringing. Never is a man so beautiful as when he asks for forgiveness or excuses himself. Forgiveness does not mark the end of a war, a conflict, when it is not the actual removal of all that has caused the evil. Only then is their true forgiveness, when peace love, triumphs. We realize that it is not enough to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness must not only be hidden in the heart. Forgiveness must be expressed concretely outwardly. Therefore, we are all aware of the meaning of Christ’s words: ‘If you, therefore, bring a gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go first to be reconciled to your brother; only then come and offer your gift.’ (Mt 5:23-24).

Forgiveness from God is a commitment and a responsibility for us, so much so that the merciful God casts away from Himself the one who does not want to be compassionate and does not want to forgive his brother. Today, let us know to do everything we can so that God may forgive us, too.