Lord, what do you ask? 

The event of the conversion of Saul to Paul is known to us. Saul, an ardent Pharisee, persecutes Christians not out of cruelty, but out of ignorance and blindness. Then it is a common case that repeats itself at every age. Great Teacher, Jesus Christ, it is also common for you to tear down those Sauls, in various events you throw them off their saddles and call out with a thousand mouths: «Saul, Mary, George… why are you persecuting me?» While Saul of Tarsus, thrown from his saddle and blinded by a strange experience, manages to answer the question: «Lord, what do you ask?» – today’s Saul starts searching like detectives: Who caused it? Who cared? – They act accordingly. If they discover a higher “unknown” power behind the scenes, they can turn themselves and their surroundings into a complete storm. If they had power, which they don’t have, they would scatter the clouds. But let’s be honest and admit to ourselves: God’s love will take care of the blinded Saul’s, and God’s justice for the wicked. Let’s not point fingers that Saul is such and such an atheist brother, sister, boss, and neighbor… 

In meditative silence, let’s confess and answer the questions: Am I not Saul too, we, the baptized souls, the chosen souls, and I, the priest? Let’s fervently ask the Holy Spirit for gentle hearing and listening! Parents have been saying loudly for a long time: «Son, daughter, why do you persecute us with such a life? We, parents, have not slept for you for a long time… Get up from the earth, mud, and humiliation of sinful society! Cling to Christ, start it differently…” The husband repeats to his wife and vice versa in countless questions: “Why do you persecute me with infidelity? Get up and come, we’ll start it differently…» Friend to friend, neighbor to neighbor, co-worker to co-worker repeats: «Why are you persecuting me…?» The sister reproaches the sister: «Why are you persecuting me? Why do you harbor that tyrannical way of capriciousness… of resentment… of selfishness…?!” 

And who are you, XY, to reproach me like this? What right do you have to say that? If we end with just this question, we will continue to be what we were – Sabers! We will continue to persecute our near and far surroundings, and we will intensify the persecution. Unfortunately, only the last, and a very small group, also follows Saul of Tarsus with this question: «Lord, what do you want me to do? » This issue requires a true conversion, a turning to the Truth, which we mistakenly sought in the persecution of others. If we have the strength to ask Christ like this in the depths of our soul, He Himself will answer us: – I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life! (John 14:6). – The truth will set you free! (John 8:32). 

Go, show yourself to my representatives; you, maiden, youth, to your parents; you, priest, to your bishop; thou consecrated soul to thy superiors; you, Christian, to your confessor! Go and they will tell you what to do. If we have the strength to honestly question our conscience, to simply and openly ask Christ face to face what we must do to change our lives, the grace of God will complete the work of perfect conversion in us. Then: – frivolous maidens and young men will develop into the Roman Priskas, Agnes, Alojz, and the martyr-strong Pavlov Miki and Sebastián; – from frivolous married couples, parents become pillars of society, a guarantee of a healthy future; – from the tepid consecrated souls, the continuation of the Carmelite saints, the paraylemonial Margaret’s, the modern Ledochowskis, Demjanovičs, and the university-educated Edit Steins; – from average priests to new parish priests from Ar’s… 

Beloved Jesus, I am sure that the greatness of the apostle to the nations began here! Here, in this question: «Lord, what do you ask me to do? » We are afraid to ask because then we would have to continue in the Pavlovian line. She was required: – To carry the death of Jesus in our bodies so that the life of Jesus would be evident in our bodies. – To remain alive, but still to put ourselves to death for Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal body. This is what Paul writes about himself in the Second Letter to the Corinthians. It did not break the converted Saul. Love for Jesus began to motivate him more powerfully than hatred before. Optimistically, he continues in the same letter: – I am not weakening. Even as our inner man is destroyed, our inner man is renewed day by day. After all, the present temporary and light burden of tribulation will gain us an exceedingly great eternal glory above all (2 Corinthians 4:16-17). 

We do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ, our Lord; however, we consider ourselves your servants (2 Cor 4,5). Lord Jesus, there is little or no malice in me. But there is a lot of fear in me that keeps me from calling out to Saul: «Lord, what do you want me to do? » Do not look at this weakness. Call, scream, stir up my insides: «I am Jesus, whom you have persecuted so far – she persecuted. Well, it will be difficult for you to kick against the thorn!» Beloved Jesus, take possession of me! I give you freedom against my freedom. I give you – if I may be honest – I give you a pleading command: «Seize me! Don’t look at the moans and groans! One day the scales will fall from my blinded eyes and I will see that in this and that event, humiliated, when you knocked me off the saddle of soaring pride, you stood – Jesus, Friend, Love, Mercy, Truth!» 

The decision» I will ask the Blessed Christ where to start my own conversion. By which faults do I persecute my fellow man? I’ll start from there