Jesus always admonishes out of love.

The Gospels record several instances of Jesus offering words of caution. One notable example is his response to a woman who exclaimed, “Blessed is the life that bore you and the breasts that you enjoyed” (Lk 11, 27-28), to which he countered, “Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it.”

Saint Josemaría said, “Fraternal admonition is part of God’s vision, of his loving Providence”. Jesus admonishes the woman on this occasion because he wants to bring her to the fullness of the truth. “Brotherly admonition is born of love,” says Fernando Ocáriz, “it shows that we want others to be ever happier”. For this reason, our interest in others does not consist only in judging whether they follow a rule but in trying to look at them as Jesus looked at them: his look does not stop at trivial details but is full of hope, with great horizons. Christ’s warning is driven by personal love for the other, his desire to make us happy, and not to maintain some external order.

“There is always a need for a loving and admonishing, knowing and recognizing, discriminating and forgiving perspective (cf. Lk 22:61), as God did and did with each of us”. The brotherly admonition is not administered from above, as one who has something to teach the other; rather, it is about reaching out to the other to understand and accompany him in his desire for holiness. With brotherly admonition, people around us do not feel alone in their struggle but know they can count on our support.

“WHEN YOU GIVE fraternal admonition, you must love the faults of your brothers”, said Saint Josemaría. A heart that loves can overlook what we see as faults in others. Logically, as far as we can, we will try to help him overcome it; however, this will not always be possible, or it will not happen overnight. Therefore, learning to love even these shortcomings in a certain way introduces us to the logic of God’s love. Jesus accepts our qualities and weaknesses, he does not attach any conditions to his love.

The highest rule of fraternal admonition is love: to want the good of our brothers and sisters. And often it also bears the problems of others, the mistakes of others in silence, in prayer, and then finding the right way to correct them “. This means respecting each of them’s freedom because our love will be more like God’s love for us. Helping one of our brothers or sisters on the path of holiness is more like a patient and warm, sleepless night in which we wait for God’s action than cold supervision. The one who wants to help is not only interested in external phenomena but looks at events in the light of the other’s desire for holiness, and takes off his sandals because it is in the depth of his soul (cf. Ex 3, 5).

Before correcting the people around us, it might be good to remember Christ’s words: “First cast out the log from your eye!” Then you will see and be able to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Mt 7:5). While we always try to help others, perhaps the best way to encourage them to holiness is through our holiness. Perceiving in the second bonus the odor Christi, the fragrance of Christ, attracts us to live in friendship with God and provides an environment favorable for us to admonish or be admonished with the confidence of the children of the same Father.

The Fruit of Friendship …

FOR brotherly admonition to be authentic and fruitful, it is usually necessary first to establish a context of closeness and genuine interest in the other’s life. Reprimanding someone we don’t know is typically not the best course of action and can often be unfair. In other words, it is good to have a mutual and authentic friendship relationship where love is experienced and manifested in various ways: details of service, shared moments, and shared worries… And simply as another manifestation of this friendship, the desire to help the other in his path to holiness. In this way, we can gently enter their heart without interfering with their intimacy and always try to take responsibility for their situation. This context also leads us to understand the reactions of others when they are reprimanded. There are dispositions of temperament that make us very different from each other, which St. Josemaría considered the central part of that “most diverse counter” in people in Opus Dei and the Church. For some, even the gentlest words can easily sound reproachful. On the other hand, if the words are unclear, others may perceive a lack of interest. In any case, if there is a close and friendly relationship between us in advance, we all discover a gesture of loyalty in brotherly admonition.

The founder of Opus Dei said that “we will never tolerate criticism behind his back” regarding the brother. And we say unpleasant things kindly to correct them”. We can ask Mary to help us see our brothers and sisters with her motherly eyes so we can talk to each other with love, tenderness, and fidelity.