Twenty-eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time,Year C Lk 17,11-19

Gratitude… We had an American theology student in Rome. He was an older man who had decided to become a priest relatively late in life. It took some time, but eventually he told me how he came to become a priest. He had been the director of a retirement home in San Francisco and had been deeply moved by the lives of the older people there. He wanted to become a priest and work in a similar facility. ‘You can’t imagine,’ he told me, ‘how abandoned elderly people are today.’ Materially, they lack nothing. They have comprehensive medical care and all the comforts of old age. But that’s all! Their own children rarely visit them. Instead, they usually send recorded Christmas greetings, with the son or daughter wishing them all the best and the grandchildren reciting or singing a Christmas carol.

The old man loses his composure repeatedly, remembering and becoming saddened. He has forgotten. When we say that gratitude has disappeared in today’s world, we are certainly exaggerating because it has always been a forgotten virtue. Therefore, the modern world does not offer many opportunities to demonstrate it. In collections of examples for old preachers, there used to be instructive fairy tales about how God arranged a feast and invited all the virtues to it. They had a great time together. However, at the end of the table, two ladies sat alone, apparently not knowing each other. The gentle host, God, hurried over to introduce them to each other. He bowed to one and said, ‘This is Mrs Charity!’ Then he bowed again: ‘This is Mrs Gratitude!’ The two ladies smiled kindly at each other and shook hands. They had longed to meet each other for so long, yet since the beginning of time, they had never crossed paths. As befits a sermon example, the fairy tale is moralising in nature. However, this has the disadvantage that people sigh sadly when they talk to her: ‘Unfortunately, that’s how it is!’ However, no concrete conclusions can be drawn from such teachings. More concrete was the decision of the older man’s director to become a priest for the elderly and abandoned.

Similarly, one of my religious brothers in Belgium dealt with the situation effectively. He was a professor and stopped teaching after his 65^(th) birthday. Then he moved into the house of an elderly man. It wasn’t because he had to. He belonged to a religious community and had brothers. However, he realised that it might still be necessary for many people here, especially those whom society deems unnecessary. Ingratitude has deep psychological roots. In the so-called consumer society, the value of everything is measured in terms of what is needed. Unnecessary items are a greater concern today than ever before. In small flats, even an old box or a piece of wrapping paper can get in the way. Anyone who doesn’t go along with the crowd gets stuck in the hustle and bustle of the street. Similarly, people who have time on their hands and want to discuss the weather and lower back pain can get on others’ nerves. Sadly, grandparents, who were once so necessary, are now considered a nuisance because they are no longer needed. What can be done about this?

Everyone knows that this issue must be addressed in a humane manner. But including them in one’s life seems out of the question. If it is difficult with parents, then all other relationships motivated solely by gratitude for something received in the past must be excluded. However, we do not merely intend to analyse the facts. We can see where things are headed and what the general trend is. We therefore ask how we should respond. What must we realise, and which ideas must we reinforce, so that we do not passively give in to the trend? What exactly is gratitude? Mutual contact fosters a closer relationship with others. A woman becomes a mother by giving birth to a child and caring for it throughout its life. A child is a child in the truest sense of the word when they accept this and realise that it has created an inseparable bond with their mother. When a woman renounces a child, she hurts her own sense of motherhood. Children who do not contact their parents have denied their family.

Ingratitude is the atomisation of society. A living organism disintegrates into individual cells. Ungrateful people assume that they can take from society without giving anything in return. This is a dangerous state of affairs. Ancient Indian monks vowed not to accept gifts. This may seem strange to us, but they were thinking logically. They tried to be completely alone and have a gentle heart. Anyone who receives a gift has two options: they either feel bound to the giver and lose their independence, or they accept the gift and commit to nothing. In the latter case, however, their heart become hardened and they cannot find happiness in solitude. Christians do not desire such loneliness. It would not be human. To develop as a person, a human being must always receive from others. However, they remain committed to others. Does that not make them slaves to others? In our society, many honest people, especially those in leadership positions, are reluctant to accept gifts. They know that receiving a gift would mean committing themselves to something, and that their hands would then be tied. How do we find the right balance? Christianity helps us to address this practical problem by elevating it to a higher level.

We accept a great deal from people — everything that life has to offer. However, we also recognise that all of this comes from the hands of the Father in heaven, the source of all good things. First, gratitude is due to God. Accordingly, we are indebted to him, and, in accordance with his will, we give back to people what we have received. Experience confirms that it is only those who recognise day by day what they owe to God who can be grateful to others.  This is why they are always looking for an opportunity to express their gratitude for God’s gifts. They can even do good for a stranger and recognise that it is their duty. Conversely, those who are not grateful to God may even forget their own parents. They convince themselves that they have done their duty by sending a Christmas postcard. In today’s atomised society, it isn’t easy to be grateful to individuals. After all, people serve each other either for money or out of a sense of duty. It isn’t easy to be personal when waiting in a long queue to be served. Only a firm awareness that God is the personal giver of everything we receive can breathe life back into these disintegrating human relationships.