In visible growth

We’ve been meeting for some time. Maybe we have already shaken things and incorporated new activity of meeting in the cells into life, perhaps the magic of novelty has passed and it goes into everyday life. And maybe even a little evaluation and waiting for some fruit. We always have the desire to change something and always look for an adequate tool. After a while, we assess whether something has moved. If not, we are looking for another tool. This is perhaps a perfectly legitimate attitude in business growth or economic growth. But it’s very dangerous in spiritual growth.

            Of course, spiritual life also has its dynamics of growth. Either I have greater or lesser participation in God’s life. Even Jesus grew in wisdom and popularity with God and with men (cf. Luke 2,52). But there is one danger. To perceive conversion to God as some radical transformation, where one leaves forever evil and imperfect and begins to live well and integrity. Some even argue that a converted person must not often go to confession because it is hypocrisy. How can I say that I love God when I commit the same sin every week? We are tempted to think that spiritual growth is to do something so that we can finally do something else. I’ve already mastered the first chapter, the lesson, so I can start with the second.

            This belief grows when we get information that St. Augustine, who had a morbid problem of being faithful, after his conversion so radically put an end to sin that he had never committed a grave sin. But it is forgotten that the conversion of Augustine was not a one-time event, when a sinner became a saint day by day, but a long-term search, discernment, struggle, falling and getting up and falling again.

            It is precisely in this way that spiritual growth is perceived by St. Paul. Even baptized Corinthians are not yet “spiritual” but still “corporeal”, they are tiny and immature in spiritual life (cf. 1Cor 3,1). He tells the Ephesians to grow to the fullness of the age of Christ (cf. Eph 4:13). The goal of spiritual life is not to manage something once and for all, so that we can finally do something else, but to constantly work on “managing”.

            The development in God’s grace is invisible. Nevertheless, one can get to know each other in some hints. It manifests itself in the actions of man, in his efforts and in desires. It is also reflected in the quality of our interpersonal relationships. But beware, it’s not easy to read these characters. For evil seeks to discourage us from spiritual growth, and therefore either makes us impatient, tends to constantly measure, compare, or disgust us with our sinfulness that comes to the surface during every step in spiritual life.

            We have already said that one of God’s greatest graces is that he will not allow us to see the truth about ourselves – our sinfulness, because we would fall into despair. Therefore, he reveals to us our sinfulness to the extent that we are able to believe and receive His mercy. It is quite natural and normal that when one begins a difficult journey to God, the first thing he encounters is God’s own iniquity. Here, he may be frightened and run back to the beginning of the journey, he may also be disgusted and still blame himself and analyze himself. Or he can rely on God and be guided by God. Receive the truth about yourself and trust in God’s love.

            So let’s try not to analyze the state of our soul according to how we feel, but rather learn to focus on our actions, efforts and desires. Spiritual life purifies them. But not in the sense that we no longer have sinful desires, but rather that the desire for God is perfected in us. In this sense, Greek fathers talk about those “who are afraid” of “those who hope” and of “those who love”. A beginner leads to a good fear of God’s punishment. The more advanced hopes for God’s reward, the perfect ones already live out of God’s love. So spiritual growth can then be perceived by the fact that it grows in me, this desire is perfected.

            A different distinction has taken place in the West. There are three ways: purification, enlightenment, unification. (via purgativa, illuminativa, unitiva). On the way to God, we must first purify ourselves of everything that hinders us. Then it begins to grow in the knowledge of the truth. Finally, the soul longs for unity with God.

            Of course, these stages are not separate from each other, they are different aspects of spiritual life, where some always prevail. It means, therefore, that one who strives to unite with God must also continue to purify himself. Grades overlap and it is difficult to tell who is. Therefore, we must not be disgusted when we think that we have already advanced somewhere and suddenly discover that we are again struggling with the initial temptations.

            Although preachers often call for constant progress, true conversion, patient work on self-improv.