The size of the marriage.

A few years ago, many of us stood at the box office of movie theaters to see a film that received a lot of attention from film critics; after all, it was awarded five Oscars, the highest honors. This film has been praised for its content and timeliness, yet, even after seeing it, many have chosen the other path: divorce!

The Pharisees came to Jesus and ended his answer by saying, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mt. 19:5-6).

Divorce has been, is, and will be a social and legal problem in every age, among all peoples, and thus among the Jews at the time of Christ.
The Pharisees came to Jesus to tempt Him. They thought they would provoke him to make unpopular statements about the cause of divorce. Those who oppose marital divorce invariably win many opponents and detractors by their stance. Christ, however, does not look at the hearers and speaks clearly and distinctly:
“Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to put away your wives; but from the beginning of creation, it was not so… God ordained marriage. It is not good for a man to be alone. Therefore, I will give him a help meet like unto him” (Mt. 19:8).
Christ here declares man and woman to be equal. To remarry a divorced woman, or to marry a divorced man, is to commit adultery. Christ is defending before the Pharisees the God-originally minded order of marital cohabitation. The most profound mystery of marriage lies in the Savior, elevating it to a sacrament.
St. Paul warns the Ephesians, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself up for her….” (Eph. 5:25).
The love between spouses is the foundation of marriage and the family.

The conciliar document Joy and Hope say that marriage and conjugal love are directed toward procreation and the education of offspring. Children are precious gifts! But the role of parents is not only to give children physical life. Above all, parents must contribute to the healthy development of the spiritual life that begins with the child’s baptism. True love and offspring, however, require the indissolubility of marriage. The indissolubility of marriage is the primary mark of Christian marriage: what God has joined together, let not man put asunder!
This is how we must look at marriage, and this is how we must think about it. Today, however, we observe something else. There are many mistakes and misconceptions about marriage. Among them are those that claim that marriage is a private affair where anything goes. A child is considered a burden; therefore, every possible means is promoted against conception. It goes so far as to regard marriage as a shackle and therefore seeks to escape in free love, idolizing unchaste sex and nudity.

Our society is sick with frivolity in sexual life, the accumulation of divorce, and a general decline in morals. Selfishness, self-indulgence, and promiscuity are the enemies of marriage.

The ideal begins with. The young tell themselves that they have fallen in love at first sight. All it takes is an opportunity, a meeting, some fun, a little service / and they are already dreaming of each other, they are in love… Marital and family duties seem like a fairy tale to them, and woe betides anyone who would want to challenge this dream. Then marriage becomes a tragedy. The causes are many. Those concerning everything around them: housing, eating, concern for family traditions, maladjustment, lack of respect for the other, egoism…. are often severe cases, but usually petty ones, and not least there is a third.

Let’s let the survivors of this talk about it: I got married at 17. Today I am 47 years old and have had many sad experiences. I suffer terribly because I was deceived. I lost faith in people. I see in every man a slob, an alcoholic, a thief…

Life brings worse cases: in January 1973, in Preston on the road, a married couple and their 12-year-old son met for the last time. Both were doctors. After the divorce, the child was awarded to the mother. By the time of the conversation, the end of the misunderstanding had taken place. It ended with the shooting of the woman. The mother is in the grave, the father is in jail, and the drama has remained in the little boy’s heart forever.

There are many similar dramas and tragedies. They do not arise suddenly but gradually. It starts with dancing and conversations. He is unhappy, she is disappointed, and behold – they have found each other! Outwardly, as if nothing has changed. And innocently, the tragedy of a woman and children slowly rises. The children often sue and have the right to sue! Society, the Church, and God have a right to sue too.

Marriage is not a toy. It is a sacrament and a social institution. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mt 19:6).

Indeed, none of us is perfect. There will be crises in married life, so it is necessary to be aware of the pillars that can protect marriage. Someone has likened marriage to a sanctuary. Every temple is built on a foundation, a foundation. Marriage must be a unity of two persons, not of bodies. A person is not only a body and senses but also a mind and a will. This unity must be based on patience, benevolence, and kind love. “Love is … … does not turn off … is not selfish … does not rejoice in iniquity…” (1 Cor. 13:4-6).

The second pillar is mutual service. All true love becomes service. Service to the Father is true patriotism. Service to God is true religion.

Service is the love of a mother in the upbringing of a child. Christ Himself came to earth to serve and not to be served. When two egoisms meet, that is when it is wrong. That is why I both urge and encourage you to divorce, but not one that destroys the smile of the children, the spouse, and the one we have loved, but divorce with illusions and aspirations for a third person! There is no ideal person! It is only in our vision, but it can be approached by accepting the other person as they are!

A scholar said: “If you can’t build a palace, at least build a house. But remember, you won’t be comfortable in it if you don’t let go of your palace dreams!”

The writer Štefan Králik wrote a play called T r a s o v I s k o, which we have also seen on television: The Childless Marriage. Both parents long to have children. The husband, however, often asks his wife: “What have we done, how have we sinned, that God has not given us a child of our own?” The wife, almost in despair, experienced anxiety; she knew the actual cause, which she eventually told her husband. As an unmarried woman, she was expecting a child, but it could not be born. They forcibly stopped his life at that time. And the aftermath? She couldn’t have any more children!

Do you think this is just a fictional invention? No! Life writes many such tragedies. And do you think that those physically and mentally disabled children in institutions are a testimony and proof of a restrained life? No! Parents should examine their consciences. Some, for pleasure and vitality, convenience, and free love for life, have stolen and impoverished their children!

The world must understand, and those who want to marry must understand, and those who live in marriage must also understand that marriage is a great grace, a sacrament! Marriage is not an animal fusion that is already over when it no longer suits one. Marriage only acquires beauty and value when sacrifices must be made for its sake when they see each other more than themselves.

“Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to put away your wives…” (Mt. 19:8) Jesus said to the Pharisees as He reproached them for their meanness, falsehood, and pretense.

Harshness in our families must be replaced by first love, zeal, and tenderness, and not by hatred, calculation, and malice.

Let us all see a film about our family today. Would it deserve an award, an Oscar? Could it say something good to the world?