When do we truly love each other? We know from our concrete relationships.

Some psychologists divide people into four, others into eight groups, and there are other divisions. No two people in the world are the same. Jesus did not bypass this fact in his teaching. He says how He, the God-man, sees it and what He asks of us in today’s Gospel, which begins with the words, “When your brother sins” (Matt. 18:15).
When a brother trespasses, the first thing to do is to formulate a complaint against the other. If we put the complaint into words, we often see how petty, and without foundation it is. The second step is to have a personal conversation with the offending brother. Please don’t settle the matter by letter or telephone if possible. Instead, the living word straightens out the differences which the written word deepens. If a private and personal meeting does not help, a prudent, wise man, or more people as witnesses, should be brought in to help. If this does not help, we must go with personal difficulties to the Christian fellowship. It is assumed that the community does not judge things by human rules alone but primarily in the light of love.

Jesus speaks even of the most challenging thing if everything that has already been done has failed: “Let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Mt 18:17). It would seem, but this is only the first motive, that everything is hopeless, but we know that Jesus also came to die for the tax collectors and the Gentiles, He also redeemed them. Love can work miracles. Especially love that is persistent, long-term, resourceful, not selfish… (cf. 1 Cor. 13:1-13). Not to leave a brother in despair. Prayer is especially needed, as Jesus says, “If two of you on earth ask anything with one accord, you will receive it from my Father who is in heaven” (Mt 18:19).

Jesus calls the brother who has sinned “brother.” This is an example for us to follow in a particular case in making amends. Love is to prevail. And it always does in every situation. Remember that we are the brother who has sinned against someone in this context. We need to avoid any collateral, mainly evil intentions. Even if we act more kindly towards someone, let us accept the brother’s efforts with the sincere effort that he means well for us and that he is doing everything with the best of his knowledge and conscience. In such a situation, may we be encouraged to accept the brother’s warning that he is doing it in the name of the Church. Jesus warns us to get the brother’s admonition in humility, even if it is a wrong attitude, and not to blame the fault on another, not to make excuses.

In humility, let us realize that offense and sin threatens us in particular and the community. To delay accepting correction until later can backfire, and even when we presumptuously delay repentance, God can withdraw His grace. The nine alien sins touch on this very point. These are 1. To give counsel to sin. 2. To provoke others to sin. 3. To cause others to sin. 4. To cause others to sin. 5. To give aid to the sin of others. 6. To be silent in the sin of others. 7. To intercede for the sins of others. 8. Do not punish the sins of others. 9. Praise the sins of others.