Extramarital sex

TOPICS FROM YOUTH MASSES
The question for today’s St. Mass reads:
“Why is it sinful to make love when we do it with someone we love very much?” Before we answer this question, let’s clarify a few essential things:
WHAT DOES “LOVE” SOMEONE MEAN?
FAVORITE AND FULLNESS: LOVE:
It is a purely “bodily” and instinctive relationship of affection for the opposite sex, which one feels just like a dog or a cat. It does not bind to one person, but in general. A typical example may be various “skirts” and the like.
FALLING IN LOVE:
It is an emotional relationship, and its hallmark is exclusivity. What we are in love with is unique and irreplaceable to us (at least as long as love falls). Falling in love with a girl is usually referred to as “love” in our culture.
COMMON CHARACTER:
A common sign of love and infatuation is selfishness. Our relationship is based on the fact that someone (or something) is interesting, attractive and satisfies our needs. If it ceases to meet this need, it becomes unattractive to us, and we look for something else that will satisfy us again.
Neither is necessarily tied to a relationship with a person, but it is also possible to do things:
MAN, I like girls,…… but I’m entirely crazy about Suzana. It’s cool. But after three years, we don’t understand much. We’ll probably leave it at that. Yesterday I met Katherine and…
FOOD I like good food, …… but my favorite is Pizza. I really won’t let her. Although, since I ate her, I don’t eat here much, and I prefer fish to butter now.
FILM I like going to the cinema. I adore the movie “Intruder”! But I’ve seen him five times, and I’m tired of going to him anymore. But now I’m fascinated by a new movie, “Scream II.”

LOVE
Love, on the other hand, is the exact opposite: it is a gift.
Love is the same in all situations:
• the missionary loves his believers with the same love and renounces many things and often live for them;
• the mother also loves her child and undergoes a lot of worries, strains, and renunciations for him;
• the husband also loves his wife, and because of her, he gives up his current family, the old-fashioned way of life, …

Its hallmark is “the pursuit of happiness and the development of the person we love.”

LOVE AND CHRISTIANITY
Love is crucial for Christianity.
Salvation = to be like God. But if “God is love” (1 Jn 4: 8, 16), then:
Salvation = to become love.
The Bible and the Church confirm this:
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. That ye also love one another, as I have loved you. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples if ye love one another.
(Jn 13,34n)
… But one who is incarnate to the Church will not be saved, but he will not remain in love: for he remains in the Church only “flesh” and not “heart.”
(KKC 837)

LOVE AND SEX
And we’re basically:
• Everything that comes out of love is okay because it resembles us in God and fills us with God’s life.
• All that does NOT come from love is a sin because it develops our selfishness, distances us from God, and denies us true life. This also applies to sex:
SEX AS EASY:
If I understand sex as the appropriation of something – in this case, another person with whom I “do” something because it is pleasant for me and fills me with satisfaction, it is a sin because it is selfishness. I am doing this against my interests and goals.
This includes sex motivated by love and infatuation.
• In the first case, it is a purely animal relationship, and if I am an animal, I cannot be like God at the same time. Therefore, a Christian will undoubtedly not long for some erotic salons, use the services of prostitution, or cultivate “disco adventures.”
• In the second case, it is also a selfish appropriation of the other. This is often manifested in jealousy and – after the satisfaction of the “toy” disappears – on the contrary, by divorce.
SEX AS DONATION:
But sex can also be a gift, a gift of our body to the one we love. This is when he is motivated by love. But donating means one thing:
You can’t donate something twice in a row to two different people. • We can only donate something to one person. You can only give it to one, and then it no longer belongs to you because it belongs to the other.
• Donation is permanent. If you borrow something, you can take it back over time. But if you donate something, you present it once and for all, and it can never be taken back.
• The donation is permanently sealed by a contract, which clearly states that the thing belongs once and for all to the other, and you waive ownership of the item – also once and for all.

But the same goes for donating your own body out of love:
• I can only donate my body to one person;
• I give it once and for all
• and I seal this donation by contract.
Technically, the gifted person is called “HUSBAND”, resp. “WIFE” and the gift contract is called “wedding”.

HOW DOES THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION SO?
• If we understand the word “love” as a relationship of love, then sex is not sinful because it is a gift: to one person in marriage. Then it is even something sacred, and it literally becomes a form of “liturgy”, because in it, we present, indicate and experience something of the unity and love of the Eternal