“Forgive us our trespasses, as we also forgive…” We recite these words daily in the Lord’s prayer, perhaps so often that we no longer even realize their impact on our lives. We know that we should forgive, and in our thoughts, we do so, but we do not feel peace. Anger and a desire for revenge keep coming back.
In the Gospel, Jesus draws our attention to the fact that we should “forgive each of his brothers from the heart.” (cf. Mt 18:35). We live in a network of various relationships – family, social, political, international, church, and others, where it cannot be avoided so that we don’t hurt each other. Neighbor hurts neighbor, brother, brother, husband, wife, father, son, son, superior-subordinate, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law, Slovak Hungarian, white black, etc. How many of our relationships are marked by forgiveness? “I have nothing against him, but…” Above all, it is true that the forgiveness of offenses directly affects each of us.
In the Holy Scriptures, we also find instructions for forgiveness: “Be angry, but do not sin! Do not let the sun set on your anger” (Eph 4, 26). “So when you bring a gift to the altar,r and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar and first go and reconcile with your brother; only then come and offer your gift.” (Mt 5, 23 24)
However, to truly forgive another, we must first admit to ourselves that we are sinful and need forgiveness. In the letter of 1 John, we read: “If we say that we have no sin, we are lying to ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1, 8) We often judge others from the position of judge. We see their mistakes in her seriousness; we know the laws that protect people. If we think justly, we must condemn the act. But let’s imagine a completely different situation. The one who made a mistake is myself. And I can only forgive if I admit that I need forgiveness in the first place.
This has consequences for the understanding of the sacrament of reconciliation in the Church, but also for the attitude of individuals towards other people. The Church realizes that it mediates and bestows forgiveness. Without forgiveness, she would not be in the Church. It grows by constantly forgiving sins and accepting sinners into its midst. The Church also requires forgiveness because the community of the Church is not only made up of perfect people. The idea that everyone must first be purified before they can enter the Church is wrong. In the Church, there is a constant process of purification when we offer each other forgiveness and repent for others. That is its dynamism.
What happens in the Church also applies to every small Christian community. If there is a painful misunderstanding in the family, the love of individual members overcomes it with forgiveness. Peace of heart comes from the certainty that I have been forgiven, just as I will forgive others. The family is a school of forgiveness; we take its model further into our lives. A parent is the first example of forgiveness. Words are not always needed. Children see how parents behave towards each other, others, and children. It is not a shame if a parent admits his own mistake and admits it in front of his partner or even in front of the child. Most of our sins are transgressions against those closest to us.
The following experience concerns forgiveness: “I grew up in a family that naturally included grandparents. I remember a beautiful childhood surrounded by a large family. Grandfather was a passionate fisherman, mushroom picker, and even a gardener in his old age. We went on joint trips to nature. I remember his peculiar sense of humor. Sometimes, he brought me to tears. We loved our grandparents. It was only much later that I learned that my grandfather was an alcoholic, and in his youth, he had many difficult moments for his wife and children. However, my mother never spoke badly about him; she protected our childhood world, our grandfather’s dignity, and our image of him. She always emphasized to us: “Great love covers many sins.”
Sometimes, it seems impossible to keep forgiving and patiently bear the pain. Some Christians cannot take the bitterness of certain persons and grumble all the time. They claim they have to end the relationship with them to have peace finally. But without forgiving love, we are just hypocrites. Even if we gave away all our possessions as alms, went to Holy Mass every day, and received the Sacrament of the Altar, without forgiveness and patience in tribulation, we will not progress in love.
Sometimes, we think forgiveness is humiliating because every insult arouses the desire and the right to take revenge. However, the thought of revenge worries a person; it eats away at his body from the inside, and it becomes intertwined with every other thought. The evil that penetrates the heart can only be removed by forgiveness. It is difficult for someone who has not forgiven to pray in peace. However, the one who has forgiven in his heart has freed himself from the bonds of anger or hatred, and his heart will be filled with true peace. Whoever forgives his neighbor purifies himself and grows internally. He forgives with God.
Brothers and sisters, we all know those feelings when we have wronged another and done something wrong. At that moment, we had a sense of guilt and, at the same time, a desire to be forgiven. Let’s try deep in our hearts to forgive others if they have wronged us.
