There are three critical stages in the lovemaking process:Kindness – arousing a sense of security: I’m on yours side. You are in my care. “

2) Giving courage – a convincing assurance that you have enough strength and are not dependent on others.

3) Challenge – a loving but firm urge to act. It has been said that loving is an art. This means that there are no scientific formulas to use in love to guarantee a successful result. It is necessary to monitor the situation constantly, to feel what is needed and when and how to react. Like the artist-painter, he uses canvas and paints to achieve a particular desired result, as well as by artists 50 the person must feel when more kindness is needed, more encouragement, more calls to action. It’s never easy. A favor. Someone wisely said that “people don’t care about how much you know until they know how much they care about you believe. “I am convinced that the basis of love is to manifest worry about the happiness of a loved one and give him the confidence to me his happiness depends. To build a relationship on another basis means to build on sand. To a loved one, it must be clear that you really want his happiness and growth and that you do next to him. Otherwise, it won’t open for you. Beloved, must know that he is indeed someone to you, not something. That it’s not just a “case to be settled” or a “problem.” to solve. “And so the first thing love must do is to say this: I care a lot about you, I want yours first, and supreme happiness, and I will do everything I can to secure it for you; you are a unique person for me.

Giving courage. I admit that I understood, for a long time, love as an expression of kindness to others. Even I have fallen victim to the delusion that real love means doing for others what they could and should do themselves. If he was embarrassingly timid, I made every effort to spare him all the hassle of penetration. For the undecided, I was a stockpile of answers and advice. Anyone who just said a problem found with met he benefits of an immediate solution. I’ve never let a  wrestle long enough for them to be for themselves or conquer victory over yourself. Gradually, however, I began to know the truth. One day, someone thought, “Give a man a fish – and he has something eat one day. Teach him to fish – and he will have something to eat his whole life. “The use of this idea was clear. Shy, not determined, and impenetrable people would welcome us to stand up for them instead. They say, “I can’t.” At the same time, they will think, “What I might try. “They may also try various manipulations to” feed “on stability, decision 51 and penetration of others. And we humans are tempted to be manipulated. We are very vulnerable in this area. It’s much nicer to say, “Of course, I’ll do it for you, “or give advice:” What you need is this … “In addition, the correct response usually works much less immediately in such situations.

Satisfaction: Don’t worry, you can do it “. …” I don’t know what you should do. You have good ideas, and you can decide. What do you think you should do? ” If we give up and allow others to be just our tools, they will need us more and more. They will keep coming back to us to get their solutions to problems and do what they are to do for them. We will build a clientele of progressively weakening “people in need.” We will train them in drug addiction to us. However, there is no love. One of the complicated facts of love is her ability to liberate. It gives a person roots (in the sense of belonging) and wings (in independence and freedom). What people need is to believe in themselves, trust in their ability to take life issues and life opportunities into their hands. This is what is meant by the second stage of love – giving courage. Eating it instills a new and fuller awareness of its power, strength, and self-sufficiency in the recipient. It gives them the courage to say: You; you can do it!

Challenge. The final stage of love is the challenge. After kind words (I’m with you “) and giving courage (” You can! ”) true love should challenge your loved one to “Stretched his forces” to aim beyond his means, to try what he always found too difficult. To break harmful habits in himself, to overcome his afraid of giving up his bias. To release repressed feelings, to face difficult situations, to apologize for embarrassing transgressions. If the supply of courage realizes the beloved article 52 age of his abilities is a challenge to push him to use his powers: “Try lovingly. Row, hurry up. Do it. If you can do it, I’ll sit first turn and clap my hands. If that doesn’t work, I’ll sit down next to you, you will not be alone. Head forward. Put everything you can into it. You can do it.”

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