Marriage and children.

I read about a dog that also died after his master died. They found him at the grave of his landlord. Indeed, reading/listening to this news made many smiles. But this dog can be a role model and example to us in loyalty.

The word “loyalty” has not lost its meaning even today. We see loyalty being paid to those who have worked in one company for a certain period, etc.
But recently, we have seen the unpleasant thing that the word ‘fidelity’ is losing its beauty and meaning, whether in fidelity to marital or parental love. It would seem as if the terms we heard in the Gospel from the mouth of Christ Himself no longer apply or were “reserved only for the elect.”

What did the Lord Jesus mean to say to the Apostles when He said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me” (Mt 19:14)?

It is a severe problem. Even the Pharisees realized this, which is why they raised this question to Jesus, whether a man may put away his wife.
Jesus answered historically, but also theologically. Let’s try to catch the flow of his explanation.
First, let’s dwell on the historical question. The Pharisees appealed to Moses and his permission regarding the bill of divorce. But they interpreted it in their way. They reminded Jesus that there were cases where it was done quickly – the case of adultery. Jesus affirmed this but emphasized that these were the exceptions. Moses, burdened by the unusual circumstances of his life, especially while wandering in the wilderness, allowed the man to release the woman. However, the Lord Jesus immediately pointed out this was not the case initially. It was different from the beginning. When God created man and placed him in paradise, He then instituted a single marriage between a man and a woman, that is, one man and one woman, and this could not be abolished; therefore, He said: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Eph. 6:31), and he adds the explanation, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).

The historical explanation of the Lord Jesus can be understood along the lines that something else is God’s commandments and human frailty and weakness. The Lord Jesus does not condemn human weakness, but if to say that man is only man but cannot change the eternal law of God. This binds all men for all time. Through this law, He wants to teach us that marriage is one indissoluble union.

The Church looks with great sorrow at broken and unhappy marriages and tries to help them as far as possible. However, it cannot change what God Himself has decided in His love and grace. He asks God for love and mercy for those who most need this reinforcement.

Theological response: The Lord Jesus sees the cure for this problem in the practice of only one virtue, and that is: LOVE.
Love is the perfect form of marriage. Those who seek strength in this virtue strengthen the marriage. Whoever is faithful to this love will be happy. Like everything in the world, love in marriage is subject to an inevitable evolution.
We distinguish four stages in love:

1. Love fiery as a volcano hot
This love wants more than it can and must always be at the beginning of a marriage. It is on it that marriage can be consummated. Such love is not just looking at oneself, but looking into oneself. It means knowing how to give of oneself.
St. Augustine expressed it beautifully with the stanza, “He who loves, gives. He who gives more loves more, and he who loves most gives most because he gives himself.” If spouses give of themselves, that is when they genuinely love each other.

2. Parental love
This love occurs when a baby comes into the family. Then follows a more effortless transfer of love from self to the child. The spouses look less at themselves and more at their love fruit. Then the object of unconditional love is the family. It will be lasting if it is built on this virtue.
Therefore, the question must be asked before marriage: am I in love with my fiancée? Do I genuinely love my family? Do I long for her? Do I want to have a family of my own? If so, then stay happy.

3. Love a man
We must expect that at that time, difficulties will come, and disagreements and inconveniences may reach, but if there is true love, it will overcome everything. At that time, we need to pray more for perseverance in love. God will surely hear such a prayer.

4. Mature love
We can compare this love to the setting sun. The sun is weaker, but it is there and continues. Then love shows great concern for the other partner’s good health and happiness. Such love anticipates thinking ahead and stops at how it would make the other party – the partner’s life easier. This is evidence of most healthful love in the fullest sense of the word.

Imagine a spacious Rex Hall in Turin that is crowded. A public debate on divorce is taking place. Several speakers have already taken their homes on the platform. The audience is divided into two groups: some favor divorce, others against it.
The Catholic speakers refer to the Gospel. One of the speakers speaks sharply against them. He says, what does this Jewish thinker of two thousand years ago think of imposing his outlived ideas on the people of the atomic age?
The assembly’s chairman interrupted the passionate speech: “Please, ten minutes have passed! I beg to speak next.”
Albert Prima, a young university student, has entered the debate. With a firm voice and shining eyes, he declares, “I believe in this Jesus Christ who came two thousand years ago to bring the message of truth! And I also believe in his Gospel because this truth is from God. Without it, our world would have long ago become a huge madhouse or a cage with wild beasts. As for divorce, I ask everyone here, “If you were to get married, would you rather marry a divorced woman or a woman who believes in Jesus Christ?” The roaring applause of the congregation rewarded the young student’s courage.
Would I also have the courage to witness Christ in this way?

Love is the best cure for all the ills and imperfections of married life. Therefore, when there is genuine love between spouses, there is no place for the word divorce. When there is a lack of it, a lack of the glue that binds families together, the cement that binds it together, the warmth that warms it, the twilight of family life sets in. And it is a matter of honor for every member of the family, partners, children, friends, and society to do everything we can to avoid such hopeless situations, prevent them, and fight against them.

The Church gives a proven and effective remedy for this: prayer. For we pray: … forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive our trespasses…
In an address to newlyweds, the Holy Father John Paul II said: “If your love is to come to a happy conclusion, pray daily for one another.”

Let us pray fervently to God today that there may be as few families as possible in our neighborhood where the sun of love will set, where the cloud of self-love and selfishness will overshadow them, so that our nation may always enjoy the happiness and love of our Christian families.